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Short Story: Tweetroom


AMANDA MARCOTTE walks down a corridor, her Twitter followers in tow.

AMANDA: I think Aaron Sorkin is overrated.

FOLLOWER1: You think Aaron Sorkin is overrated?

AMANDA: Yeah, I think Aaron Sorkin is overrated.

The group rounds a corner. FOLLOWER2, entering from a different direction, joins the group. He passes something nondescript to FOLLOWER1.

FOLLOWER2: Hey, guys, what’s up?

F1: Amanda thinks Aaron Sorkin is overrated.

F2 (to Amanda): Really?

AMANDA: I think he’s overrated.

F2: Really?

AMANDA: Yeah, I do. I think Aaron Sorkin is overrated.

F2: So you really think Aaron Sorkin is overrated.

FOLLOWER3 enters the corridor through a door along the group’s path.

FOLLOWER3: Hey, have you guys seen this?

F3 hands something nondescript to F2.

F2: Eh, yeah, maybe we can tweet something about it later. But have you heard about Amanda?

F3: What about Amanda?

F2: She thinks Aaron Sorkin is overrated.

F3: She thinks Aaron Sorkin is overrated? (to Amanda) You think Aaron Sorkin is overrated?

AMANDA: Yeah, he is a bit overrated.

FOLLOWER4 peeks his head over a cubicle the group has just passed.

FOLLOWER4: Who’s overrated?

F3: Aaron Sorkin.

F4: I don’t think so.

F3: Well, Amanda does.

F4 (to Amanda): You really think Aaron Sorkin is overrated?

AMANDA: I think Aaron Sorkin is overrated. What’s the big deal?

OBVIOUS AARON SORKIN INSERT CHARACTER is obvious, enters from in front of the group, which stops the group in its tracks.

OBVIOUS AARON SORKIN INSERT CHARACTER: Have you ever noticed that we always talk about things being overrated or underrated? When do we ever say something is just plain “rated”? What does it say about us that we never feel the need to remark on things when they’re just right, that we only bring up the topic of ratedness when we think there’s something wrong about the rating something has been given?


OASIC (ignoring her to continue his soliloquy): And who is it who’s doing the rating, anyway? Did we appoint them to do it? Who says they’re qualified to the the final arbiters of ratedness? Or, on the flip side of it, who are we to question them? Maybe the people doing the ratings really do have it exactly right, and we’re the ones who are wrong when we try to disagree? I mean, if there’s some sort of central repository of common knowledge about how people and things are rated, what kind of person stands up and says, “No, the common knowledge is wrong, they’ve got it all wrong, here’s how it should be, because I’m better at rating things than the collective intelligence of the entire human race?”

PULL BACK as OASIC continues to lecture, an appreciative crowd building around him, hanging on his every word. FADE to credits before anybody else can get a word in edgewise.

  • @blakestacey

    Did I mention that THE SOCIAL NETWORK was the first movie I walked out of halfway through in 12 years?

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